"Oh, God, do we have to sit this close to these old broads?"
These Old Broads
So said Shirley MacLaine, as she took her seat in the small ABC-TV
screening room on
West 66th Street, where These Old Broads,airing tomorrow night,
was screened for a special audience. The movie,
starring MacLaine, Joan Collins (who was also in attendance), Debbie
Reynolds and, in a small role, Elizabeth Taylor,
has its funny moments. But nothing as funny as the screening itself.
The film in the projector broke, went silent,
snagged, stopped, flipped and flopped. At one point, when it looked as
if we might never get to see These Old
Broads, MacLaine cracked, "What you are actually watching is a
documentary on the making of
the movie -- now you know what it was like!"
Finally, TOB got under way, but the projector still sputtered
quite a bit, especially whenever Collins was onscreen.
Finally, the eternal siren, in mock tough tones, shouted, "Hey, hey,
what is this, a plot?"
Carrie Fisher's movie -- she wrote the script -- is not as incisive or
dialogue-brilliant as, say, Postcards From the
Edge, but there's no denying the ladies are game and bite into what
they've been given to spout with enormous gusto.
Who walks away from TOB the winnah? Hands down, Collins. She is
a riot from beginning to end, a daffy vixen.
Her greatest gift, really, is spoofing her own sexy image. She is a
remarkably good comedienne. (This movie screams:
"Give Joan Collins her own series!")
MacLaine skipped the little dinner after, but Collins stayed to
scintillate. What is her secret? Oh, sure, she doesn't look
anywhere near her 68 years, but anybody can do that, given the right
genes and good health. (Collins swears the
surgeon's knife has never touched her face. So I guess she must bathe
in the blood of virgins.) Collins has amazing
vitality, joie de vivre, eclat, va-va-va voom! Whatever you want to
call it, J.C. should put it in a bottle and sell it. And she
moves like a teenager. In the big musical number that ends the movie,
Collins does a full split. At the party, somebody
said, "Who was your double in that scene?"
"Double, what double? That was me!"
"Oh, come on Joan, athletes do that."
Challenged, Miss Collins tossed aside her elegant clutch, shrugged off
her faux monkey-fur shrug, hitched up her skirt,
said, "stand back," and -- whoosh! -- down on the floor she was, in a
full split.
Frankly, it was the best thing I've seen at a Manhattan dinner party in
ages. If Joan doesn't get a series, she should
definitely take this act on the road.
Rialto Ramblings
Tonight at the City Center, the Encores production of Rodgers & Hart's
A Connecticut Yankee will find Lily Tomlin and Jo Anne Worley in
the audience watching their old pal from Laugh-In, Henry
Gibson, who plays King Arthur. A highlight of the evening will be
Christine Ebersole singing "To Keep My Love
Alive." (Christine will soon star on Broadway in 42nd Street.)
Outstanding in this production are Sean Martin
Hingston, who can be seen in the hit Contact, and Nancy
Lemenager. This gal is great-looking and a stunning
dancer. Hey, Mr. Producer!
Tonight, Richard Simmons hosts Broadway Bears IV -- a one-night-only
auction to benefit Broadway Cares/Equity
Fights AIDS at the Hudson Theatre, Millennium Broadway. Many of the
teddies, repping Broadway's most memorable
characters, will be autographed. There's a private reception, a viewing
of the bears, an open bar, and the auction at 8 p.m.
Call (212) 840-0770.
This week, Steward F. Lane, one of Broadway's most successful
producers, turns playwright and produces his very
own new comedy, If It Was Easy ... , which he co-authored with
Ward Morehouse III. The show, opening Thursday
at the Douglas Fairbanks Theatre, takes a comedic look at the joys and
insanities of theater today. Showbiz has never
been so dangerous.
Old composers never fade away, they keep on writing as long as there's
someone to listen. In 1970, Will Holt was
Tony-nominated for The Me Nobody Knows. He created Over
Here for the Andrew Sisters, Platinum for
Alexis Smith and the ditty "Lemon Tree." Most recently he wrote The
Jazz Singer for Sam Harris and has, at the age
of 71, turned his talent to a musical for kids. It's called Best
Friends and it's based on his granddaughter's friendship
with Debbie Allen's daughter -- two girls of different color, growing
up together and getting pulled apart. City Lights
Youth Theatre celebrates its 10th anniversary presenting the show this
spring -- which is right around the corner.
(C) 2001 Newsday Inc. Distributed by Tribune Media Services Inc.
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