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Notes On Sublebrity


Towards a contemporary understanding of fame
by Ed Halter

When any of today's dime-a-dozen cultural pundits mention fame or celebrity, they predictably invoke Andy Warhol's overly well-known epigram, "In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." What is seldom touched upon, however, is the fact that Warhol's old saw is clearly outmoded, having come to pass somewhere around 1994. Nowadays, the forms of entertainment media have multiplied so rapidly that new celebrities of varying half-lives are created constantly.

Are You A Sublebrity?

Take this easy quiz to find out!
1. I'm secretly afraid that I look fat...

a) on home videos
b) on my website
c) on bus ads

2. The last time I read my own name in print was in...

a) my year book
b) Black Book
c) Redbook

3. Lately, I've been surprised that more and more people recognize me...

a) at my office building
b) on the streets downtown
c) in mainland China

4. My deepest fear is that I won't be accepted into...

a) business school
b) after-hours clubs
c) Betty Ford

5. Once again, I've become the subject of...

a) conversation amongst my friends
b) a film festival documentary
c) A & E's Biography

6. It's always strange to meet up with...

a) old friends
b) online gossip columnists
c) foreign women who have named their children after me

7. On days when I'm not feeling so great, I perk myself up by...

a) indulging in a high-calorie dessert
b) hitting the newest clubs with friends
c) calling my publicist and bitching at her for a full hour

8. Imagine my surprise the day I saw my picture in...

a) the local paper, for a prize I won at the county fair.
b) the party pages of a hip 'zine, for a friend's album release I attended.
c) Celebrity Skin, for a European "art-film" I did in the late '70s

Your score:

Scoring:

Give yourself 1 point for each "A" answer, 2 points for each "B" answer, and 3 points for each "C"

Key:

17-24 points
Celebrity. As if you didn't know this! Perhaps you took this quiz because you thought, out of bitter spite over your lot in life, that the daily discomfort you endure might be mitigated by at least being considered cool. Sorry!

9-16 points
Sublebrity. Though you may range from obscure to cutting-edge to close-to-Teen-Beat level, you are enjoying a very good level of fame. Enjoy yourself!

1-8 points
Nobody. Not a bad place to be -- since sublebrity status is always yours for the taking if you so desire. However, we recommend that you indulge in fandom as a self-training program first.
Rachael Leigh Cook


As a result, the achievement of stardom has become ridiculously easy. Gone are the days when the laurels of public acclaim were reserved for the heroic and esteemed. In our Jerry-Springerized age, all you need to do is start your own 'zine, stick a yam up your ass with government funding, or murder your six-year-old beauty queen daughter and suddenly you're being name-dropped on "The Gossip Show." With the rise of the Internet, the personal computer has virtually been transformed into a fame vending machine. Go ask Jenni, Sean Patrick or RZRaceBoy if you don't believe us. Or better yet, witness the cultish devotion lavished on such relatively marginal figures as Christian Bale, Olivia Newton-John and Rachael Leigh Cook, and marvel at the new forms of fan societies that the use of Daddy's Internet account hath wrought.

Given this rapid democratization of fame, can the term "celebrity" serve the purposes of entertainment journalism any longer? Can we, in good faith, pretend that Tom Cruise, Madonna and Jodie Foster exist in the same phenomenological stratum as Joey Buttafuoco, Harry Knowles and Lili Taylor?


Christian Bale


Clearly, for those of us who care deeply about showbiz chitchat, the answer is no. Therefore, in the interest of conversational clarity and sociological preciseness, I hereby convey upon the world a new category of fame: the sublebrity.

The sublebrity could be an up-and-coming, or a has-been, or, for that matter, a never-really-ever-was. The sublebrity may be a "cult star", or an underground figure known only to those in-the-know, a "subcultural celebrity." Many sublebrities have been engendered by the explosion of new media like 'zines, websites, trash talk shows and backwater cable channels. Unlike the poor celebrity, whose entire existence is controlled, monitored and ruled by fame, sublebrities live comfortably with their manageable amount of fame.




We have become accustomed to the small press, the specialty label and the microbrew -- why not a new understanding of our small stars, our specialty celebs, and the micro-famous? I have developed the notion of the sublebrity from working in the twilight world of underground film, where the gaggle of subterranean superstars could simply not be understood by any other taxonomy. The term gained further currency when I began advising a friend of mine to use it in the promotion of her indie film, which features a former '70s sitcom star, a certain '80s MTV VJ, a local tabloid journalist, a notorious East Village lunatic, and the surviving half of Milli Vanilli -- in short, an almost allegorical llustration of sublebrity's many faces.

While the alchemic law we might call Warhol's Lemma dictates that the logic of fame is operable on all levels, the life of the sublebrity differs greatly in quality from that of the celebrity. The sublebrity, for example, does not need to devote as much concern to the possibility that they may be brutally murdered by a psychotic stalker, have a President shot in their honor, or get their after-dinner plans ruined by a cadre of overzealous, motorbiked paparazzi. If a sublebrity is convicted of a crime, he will be spared the ignominy of serving out his sentence in the form of a public service announcement. A sublebrity, if she so wishes, can selectively cultivate a classy, in-the-know type following. Conversely, the unfortunate celebrity has no control over who the fickle finger of fame will point his way. Without warning, a given fanbase may shift suddenly from chic urbanites ages 18-30 to squealing suburban 'tweens ages 10-12. In short, sublebrity status is inherently cooler.

Yes this all makes sense, you may be saying to yourself, but what does this have to do with gaydom?

It is because of my unwavering loyalty to my Velvet Mafia familia that I have chosen PlanetOut's PopcornQ as my forum in which to go public with this vital new term. Heed my warning, O lavender brethren and sistren! Understanding of sublebrity is crucial to the survival of homosexual dominance in the increasingly important sphere of gossip-mongering, rumor-spreading and star-fucking. In today's rapidly changing world, there are both openly gay celebrities and gay sublebrities, though for every Ellen Degeneres or Scott Thompson, there are probably hundreds of David Drakes and Aileen Wuornoses.

Who knows -- perhaps you too are a sublebrity!

Get yourself on over to the Sublebrity Message Board and tell us about your favorite sublebrities!



Sublebrity Links
RZRaceBoy (this is not Ed Halter)
  • Jenni Cam
  • Sean Patrick
  • RZRaceBoy
  • Christian Bale
  • Rachael Leigh Cook
  • Harry Knowles


  • Ed Halter is director of the New York Underground Film Festival and a sublebrity in his own right. Ed has also written for indieWIRE, New York City Search, and Filmmaker magazine.

    You can e-mail Ed at festival@nyuff.com with your feedback and comments.



     
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