Reconciling With Religion

God, sex, and politics -- three things you're not supposed to talk about with people you don't know well (or certain family members). Among queer people, sex and politics are favorite topics, but unless we're condemning the Christian Right, most of us rarely talk about religion. Since so many religious organizations have rejected GLBT people, it's no surprise that many of us have rejected organized religion. But what about those of us who still feel an undeniable pull toward religion, who choose a spiritual life or want to be part of a community of people who believe in something larger than themselves?

When we asked you to tell us how you reconciled your religion with being gay, we received a flood of e-mails in which you shared your diverse experiences and your thoughts on spirituality. Many of these e-mails contained moving expressions of doubt and belief.

While most people who wrote to us were members of Christian churches, we also heard from Wiccans, Jews, Buddhists, Muslims, and Unitarians. Many of you emphasized the enormous gap between your personal relationship with God (or whomever you believe in) and organized religious institutions. Over and over again, you said, "God made me this way, and after years of doubt I believe He (or She) loves me."

Many people said they had chosen to stay in their original faith, either because they were brought up in gay-friendly traditions or because of a commitment to work for change from within. Some spoke of the difficulties of being a "minority within a minority," forced to defend their homosexuality at church and their faith among their friends.

Others have looked elsewhere for spiritual community -- to traditions different from those they grew up with, to progressive, nondenominational communities like the Unitarian fellowship, or to relatively new, predominantly gay Christian churches, like the Metropolitan Community Church.

Still others have chosen spirituality over organized religion, celebrating and practicing their beliefs in their own individual ways.

There are countless ways to be queer and religious, not all of them easy, but not all of them painful either. Many welcoming religious communities exist, as do supportive groups within less gay-friendly denominations. We've gathered some useful books, films, and Web sites here. And there are thousands of other queer folks confronting the same questions and finding answers.

If you have ever struggled with faith, with your spirituality, or with a religious community, you will find a great deal of wisdom and compassion in these testimonials. We want to hear more from you, too -- on PlanetOut you can talk about religion (and sex and politics) as much as you want!