Quaker Stories
Making Friends
In 1970 I confronted two issues -- the realization at the age of 18 that I was gay, and the draft. Both brought out feelings of helplessness and a need to seek answers. Having been raised in the Episcopal Church, I knew that there was little support there for being gay (although they were never outwardly hostile, I knew that it just "wasn't done.") And I knew I could not serve in the military -- death and destruction are not in my nature. So when it came time to register for the draft in the fall of 1970, I filed as a conscientious objector. In order to do so, I was placed in contact with the local Quaker meeting. They helped me understand what was before me as a CO, and when it came time to stand up to my draft board and announce that I would not serve in the military based on my religious beliefs, the Quakers supported me, as did my family.
I had heard of the Quakers. Like most people, I confused them with the Amish -- a quaint group of people who wore black hats (like on the cereal box), said "thee" and "thou," and drove around in buggies. But I did a little research. I discovered that they have a long history of political involvement with peace and social concerns, including supporting those who do not fit into the norms of social structures. The Religious Society of Friends was founded in the 17th century in England by George Fox who believed that there is "that of God" in everyone, and churches, clergy, sacraments, ritual and ceremony only interfered with our contact with God. Fox's worship service (called a "meeting") -- where people sit in silent meditation and only speak when called on by a stirring of the spirit of God within them -- struck a powerful chord in many people, and he began to gain a following. Fox taught that war is an evil endeavor and that bowing and scraping to higher authority is wrong, since all men and women are equal in the sight of God.
This new philosophy did not sit at all well with the established churches, and Fox and his followers were routinely persecuted and occasionally tortured and executed. When the United States was formed, many Quakers came here to escape such persecution -- the state of Pennsylvania was originally established as a Quaker colony. Since then the Quakers have been in the forefront of the anti-war movements and working for equal rights for all.
They were involved with the anti-slavery movement in the US long before the Civil War and instrumental in the Underground Railroad that helped escaped slaves get to freedom. During wartime they worked to help victims of the war on both sides, and many Quakers refused military service either by being conscientious objectors or serving in non-combat roles as medics. And they also have a long history of welcoming, supporting and loving people outside the norm -- including the gay and lesbian community.
When I attended my first Quaker meeting it was like coming home to a place I knew I belonged. Quakers make no judgement about such trivial matters as sexual orientation -- it's just another part of who we are. And I find the hour of silence in the company of people who are seeking guidance to be a blessed relief from the chanted ritual and memorized rote service of the liturgy of the church. And many of the Quaker meetings support gay and lesbian couples who are seeking a place to have a commitment ceremony, based in the belief that it is God who joins people together and that the government or society has no place in determining who is fit to fall in love.
In 1995 I moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico, and shortly thereafter began attending the Albuquerque Friends Meeting. I feel welcome and valued among these Friends. They are on record as supporters of same-sex unions and against the so-called "Defense of Marriage" act. They have worked with the HIV support groups, turning the meeting house over to gay and lesbian groups for meetings and marriage ceremonies. And while not every Quaker may agree with these ideas (Quakers are not known for being doctrinaire -- there is no written Creed), it is the nature of the Friends to welcome all people and hold them in the Light of God.
I have found spiritual value in the Religious Society of Friends, and I believe I've brought something to them, too, which is the way it should be.
Philip M. Williams
Albuquerque, New Mexico
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