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Now a 57 year old out gay male, I was married for 26 years and raised a family in the local Presbyterian church in conservative Wheaton, Illinois. I have been a nearly constant choir/chorus member since age 15. After a policy dispute with the church and an absence of 7 years, I rejoined the church and choir when divorced and out. The pastor and I discussed my gay identity and my need to not hide in the church upon rejoining the congregation. He agreed with me and was very supportive. In fact the entire staff, board of deacons and board of elders supported my wish to start a gay ministry. After months of organizing and training, that ministry has begun although very small. I have the support of the "official" church although I feel resistance on the part of some of the congregation.
My experience in the past 2 years is quite positive although disappointing due to national church policy on gays. But the battles will be won at the local congregation level over time and I am in it for the long haul. Progress is often measured in bits and pieces, not oceanic
tides. I'd rather be present in the mainline church life than sequestered in a gay-only church. Although courageous and helpful, the gay churches have limited ability to spread their witness of gay life to the rest of church-going congregations.
George Safford
Warrenville, Illinois
More Light
I was not raised in a very religious family. Even when I did attend United Methodist churches almost every Sunday, I never heard anything about homosexuality. When I first fell in love with a woman, I knew what true love was. I knew God is love and that all love comes from God so I did not have any conflict there. We were not out for twelve years, but were still involved in church and were accepted like everybody else. But once we were out, I wanted to find a church where we would be unconditionally accepted as a lesbian couple (we had recently moved to a new city). We found a More Light Presbyterian Church (More Light Presbyterians believe and are fighting for the full inclusion of gays and lesbians including being ordained as deacons and elders). For the first time I heard of Jesus as a strong justice-seeking advocate. A year later my partner at the time and I had a holy union performed by the pastor in the sanctuary of the church. Current Presbyterian Church U.S.A. policy says there is nothing wrong with Holy Unions as long as they are not considered "marriages" though there is a current movement to ban holy unions. I realized how ignorant I was about what the Bible really did say about homosexuality so I began taking classes at a local Catholic university. I ended up pursuing a masters in theology
as a hobby and did my thesis research on what More Light Presbyterians think the Bible has to say about homosexuality. I have finished all of my classes and expect to finish my thesis this summer. With all of my studies, I have come to the realization that the Bible has NOTHING to say about same-gender, mutually-loving relationships except to affirm them in the case of David & Jonathan and Ruth & Naomi. That is not to say those are sexual
relationships, but they are more fitting than other examples in the Bible such as male rape by heterosexual men (Genesis & Judges), or the Greek practice of pedastry (Corinthians). Trying to use the Bible to condemn gays and lesbians is like building in sand. It makes a difference which translation of the Bible one uses. Some of those who use the Bible choose
to use versions which mistranslate words. For example there is a word in Corinthians that literally translates as "soft" and some Bibles translate it as "homosexual perverts." Also it is important, as Christians, to remember that Jesus said nothing about homosexuality but that we are to love one another as God loves us. So the problem is not with the Bible or with
spirituality, it is those who twist the truth for their own benefit.
Karen Miles
Cincinnati, OH
Low Note
I've been the choir director in a small Presbyterian Church here in Ohio for the past 20 years. My sexuality was an issue of discussion when I was being considered for the job but the church decided to hire me anyway. Generally, it's well known among the congregation that I'm gay, but I've always felt loved and supported by them.
Our current Pastor of 11 years at first seemed supportive of who I was, even to the point of sending me a letter and a subsequent conversation where he stated that it wasn't a big deal, and "it's about what's in my heart." But over the past few years, it seems he's done a complete 180 in his view. As you know, the debate continues in the Presbyterian Church USA on its stance regarding gays, especially "non-celibate" ones.
A few years ago my partner joined the adult choir and about once a month, the pastor's sermons would have a definite anti-gay theme. I then started receiving literature in my mailbox for reparative therapy agencies as well as a letter (no face to face this time) from the Pastor outlining the status of my sins.
This culminated in a letter from the Pastor in the monthly newsletter that basically suggested that homosexuals should not be allowed to work within the church and that a congregation that "let that happen" would have to deal with the consequences in a spiritual sense.
This apparently outraged a good number of people judging by the number of phone calls to the church in the following weeks. Many were upset that the issue would even be brought up at all. Some were upset because I have family members there as well and they thought it was just wrong for the pastor to address the subject in such a public manner. My grandmother may be 82, but she's not stupid!
The conclusion of this long story is that several weeks after the newsletter, I was approached by several members of Session who told me in no uncertain terms that I had nothing to worry about, that "he'd go before you do"
I love my church, specifically, the members of our congregation. They ARE family to me, and I'm thankful they stood up for me during this trying time. While I'm not happy with the stance that the Presbyterian Church USA has taken. I do sustain hope that someday, I'll be able to hold hands with my lover in my church, surrounded by my friends and family who I've known for so many years.
C. Michael Blackstone
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