Priest With Passion
I was ordained a Catholic priest for the Diocese of Green Bay Wisconsin in 1971. I was afraid to express my gay orientation. On occasion I went to Milwaukee and even Chicago for anonymous sex. I did not feel guilt as I was convinced that I would do more harm to myself and the people I served as a priest if I suppressed my sexuality. I was afraid to date or meet with anyone in my geographical area, hence the long trips.
Around 1980 I began to feel a calling from God to minister to GLBT people. I joined a Dignity group and formed a clandestine Support Group for Gay Priests in my Diocese. I arranged to get a Doctoral Degree in Ministry so that I could serve better the GLBT communities and so that I could have "credibility" as a Christian minister after I left the official priesthood, for I knew I could not long remain in the Diocese.
In 1987 I took a 2 year sabbatical to get a Masters Degree in Social Work from Hunter College in New York City. Upon obtaining this degree I resigned from Green Bay Diocese and began to work as a Social Worker to "pay the rent." I served and continue to serve the GLBT people in the New York area by presiding at Mass for 4 different Dignity groups. I have also held weekly gay-oriented Scripture study, blessed gay/lesbian unions and continue to offer psychotherapy to GLBT people.
Two years ago I began writing GayGospels. These are sermons for GLBT people for each Sunday of the year. My belief is that many Christians in rural areas and small to middle size towns have nowhere to go for GLBT-friendly worship. They could benefit from a sermon written for them each week. These sermons are based on the Scriptures used by most churches on that Sunday. GayGospels are available through my Web site www.gaygospels.com.
I am closest to God when I am walking with someone on their spiritual journey. I do this best as an openly gay man who is trained as a minister. I am a better priest now than I ever was even though my ministry is technically illegal by Catholic Church standards. However, God is using me to touch many people who want closeness with God through the Christian
Scriptures and symbols. I am fond of saying: "The Pope might be mad at me, but God isn't mad at me. God loves it!" I do not have the financial security I would have if I remained in the official priesthood. But am more truly a servant than ever in my ministry to God's GLBT people and in this I find my closeness to God.
(Fr.) Don Becker
Jesus the Revolutionary
I grew up in a strongly Catholic household. I was shipped off to Catholic School at the age of 6 and almost got sent to Catholic high school as well. I believe the messages of Jesus, of love, kindness, acceptance, moderation, self-control, and compassion. This doesn't mean that I agree with the pope, nor do I appreciate the hypocrisy of the hierarchy of the church. Faith extends beyond rules, and Christianity is a living faith, as long as people are there to follow its real message. I believe in Jesus the revolutionary, the Jesus who smashed through the booths of greedy salesmen at the temples and invited prostitutes to join in His friendship. I believe that this Jesus stands by the weak, the humbled, and the persecuted, the latter including gays. I take comfort in that, and willingly say that I am both gay and Catholic. This puts me in an unusual position, and one of occasional conflict. My father is strictly Catholic and it has taken me years to convince him that this is who I am; it is not a phase and not a sin. I have still only been partially successful. I grit my teeth and swear under my breath when I hear the "latest" reports on the pope's view of homosexuality. Despite my strong disagreements with the Church, I still feel strongly about my faith in Jesus and my participation in the sacraments. To leave the Church would do me no good, and I can effect very little change in the Church by leaving it. I am still hoping that the views of the Church's hierarchy can be changed by the vocalized views of Catholics everywhere. I sign petitions supporting gay marriage. I proudly display my rainbow sticker on my car. I attend Mass almost weekly. Belonging to a Church does not mean that one blindly follows the Pope, priest, or congregation. To those who would say that I have been brainwashed by the Church and that I, myself, am a hypocrite, let them. I have questioned my religion on many occasions, asking myself what it means to me. I practice Buddhist meditation, and have studied Wicca. I like to consider myself a student of life, including both my personal faith and my sexuality. To me, the Pope does not represent my faith. Personally, I'd like to give him a piece of my mind. In the meantime, I will continue to follow the lessons of Jesus, those of compassion and love. I will also continue to fight for equal respect and rights for gays and all others. I think Jesus, Buddha, Allah, the Great Spirit, the Goddess, or whatever name you give the Diety, would have wanted it that way.
With Compassion and Blessings,
Michelle L.
Chelsea Church
I was raised a Catholic and never really left the church. I would miss Mass for weeks at a time then go back again. When my Mom died in 1996 she asked me to never give up my faith. So when I moved to New York in 1997 I started looking for it. I found it in St. Francis Church in Chelsea -- surprise! An open, loving, accepting, Catholic Church. When I first came to St. Francis the first song we sang there was "We Celebrate Our Diversity in the Love of God." I don't know what the Pope would think about St. Francis, but I love it.
Frank Conway
New York, NY
Why Did God Make Us Gay?
I guess everyone thinks that one of the biggest anti-gay religions in the world is the Catholic
Church. I am gay and a Catholic priest. I want to add that as a priest I am living a celibate life, though I fully acknowledge that I would not be were I not a priest. I do not expect other gay and lesbian people to be celibate, and I know that some priests (both gay and straight) may live sexually active lives.
About my spirituality. It is not hard to be spiritual when you are gay. I am immensely happy to be gay -- that is the way God made me. I feel especially blessed by God -- he did not make everyone gay so there is a good reason why he made me one of the lucky ten percent. I wonder perhaps whether it is so that I can walk alongside others who are also different. Difference is one thing that many people find difficult to cope with.
The thesis is simple -- God made me gay, he wants me to be gay -- why? That's the mystery of being human I guess. I totally reject the notion that God wants me to change.
Being gay requires a profound acceptance of self. It is this movement within the heart and soul that makes a gay person capable of seeing that such acceptance is at the base of every relationship of love. For the Christian that radical acceptance of others is the same as Jesus displays in every movement of his heart to those whom he meets.
As Christians then, we must always strive to achieve what God wants -- a world where difference is seen as diversity -- where diversity is seen as good and where good is what we want to be and do and have, not only for ourselves but for everyone.
Paul
Lesbian Nun
I am a Benedictine Sister within the Catholic Church. I am also a lesbian. My spirituality was and is very important to me and I didn't come know the reality of my sexual orientation until after I entered religious life at the age of 30. However, when I was able to really =
look at my orientation the rest of my life from my childhood to the present made so much sense. I always felt different but never really knew what it was. Now, coming to some acceptance personally of being a lesbian has been a journey, especially within the Catholic church. However, what has helped tremendously is the support I have gotten from some of the sisters here -- they really taught me to integrate my orientation into the rest of my life - and that is what I try to do daily. Its not easy especially when within the monastery there is a great deal of homophobia. Spiritually, I allow Psalm 139 to guide me when I am feeling depressed about how the church and even my family would be toward me if they knew. Psalm 139 talks about God knowing me, and knitting me together when I was in my mother's womb. For me, that is a beautiful image and I deeply believe God has created me as a lesbian and I am thankful to God for that gift -- because it is a gift.
Regina
Radical Catholic
I am writing to share with you my experience of being a lesbian and an extremely spiritual person. I am 63, been out since I was 38. At the time I came out, I had given up on institutionalized religion; though I must say one never completely leaves the Catholic Church. I moved to California to get involved in more of the witches covens, but much to my surprise, I ended up returning to my Catholic origins. I had found a local parish where I felt welcomed. More than welcomed, actually, I felt invited to be a part of active ministry there. I am very out at my church having been in active leadership within the GLBT Catholics group at my church. I am a Pastoral Minister in my diocese, and I even get to preach a couple times a year!
Shortly after Matt Shepard's brutal death, I started communicating with Mel White (author of Stranger At The Gate; To Be Gay & Christian in America) Mel and his partner Gary had founded an organization called Soulforce. As soon as I started reading about the principles of Soulforce, I knew I had found another home. I come out of a radical Catholic background of nonviolent resistance to the war in Vietnam and once again, I'd found a place to be the activist, I felt called to be.
In March of 1999, I met Mel in Sacramento and started working with him to organize for a gathering in Lynchburg with Jerry Falwell. What an amazing experience that was! I sat in the front pew of Thomas Road Baptist Church and heard Jerry tell his congregation, "Love your gay children, don't throw them out into the streets!" In May of this year, I along with almost 200 others (including many civil rights leaders from the 60s) got arrested at the Methodist Conference in Cleveland. Then in June, I also accompanied Soulforce to Long Beach for the Presbyterian Conference and got arrested there.
Now I will be the co-chair for the upcoming Bishops Conference in Washington, D.C. in November. I know this probably means I won't be allowed to preach in my local parish, but I am willing to give that up for the privilege of being part of the campaign to stop bigotry and homophobia within the Body of Christ. My faith and my spirit have been renewed! I am so filled with the Holy Spirit and I feel so blessed to have been led along this most amazing journey. I think that this is the most exciting time ever to be a gay Christian. There is not another time I would have chosen to live in.
Kara
Newly Out
I have only been out for a couple of years to myself and then only a year to my family. One of the main reason for apprehension about coming out to my family was due to the fact that my father is a deeply religious Catholic. So I was somewhat surprised when I told my parents that I was gay and my dad accepted me and said that the church understands that it is not a choice I made and that it is not wrong to be homosexual but wrong to perform
homosexual acts.
While this sounds ludicrous to many and to me at times, I looked at some of the ways that they treat heterosexuals and found that their logic is somewhat consistent (not completely but somewhat). They believe that it is wrong to waste sperm since it is the force for creation. Hence they believe it is wrong to masturbate or to use contraceptives for those same reasons. Whatever their main beliefs I do not agree with all of them. BUT it was an
important distinction for my father so he could accept me. And because he is so spiritual it was important that a lot of clergy are accepting of homosexuals.
After I told my parents they went to their parish and talked to a nun who is the spiritual leader of a lot of organizations. She gave them brochures about the church's position (most of them positive). And the nun told them that she had a homosexual family member as well. Then the nun also put them in contact with another parishioner who had a gay son as well. They already knew these parishioners but did not know they had a gay son.
As for my own beliefs. I firmly believe in a lot of the Catholic Church's teachings but not all. And while I know they may say these are sins, I know deep down within my soul that God does love me and accept me. I thank him every day and try to go to church on a regular basis. I just know that I am part of something much larger and have found that because I was raised Catholic that it is easier for me to stay a member than to search out for a different religion. I enjoy the rituals of the Catholic Church and they symbolize much to me.
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