What’s Your Gay Latino/Hispanic Life Like?

In our recent interview with Linda Ronstadt, the iconic singer revealed the admirable steps she's taking to bridge the gap between gays and non-gays in the Hispanic community since the passing of Prop 8.

Ronstadt's involvement made us want to know more about the cultural experiences of being LGBT in the Latino/Hispanic community -- and that's where you come in. If you've got a story, we want you to share it with other readers of Gay.com and PlanetOut.

Sharing your story is simple. Answer any or all of the questions below, but please try to keep your answers to 100 words or less. When you're finished, send your answers -- along with 3-4 attached images of yourself -- to featureme@planetoutinc.com. We'll then produce your stories as individual features and run them on PlanetOut.com and Gay.com. Maybe if we all learn more about each other's cultures, then we will be able to rise above the bigotry and reach a new level of understanding.

Name: (Optional)
Gay.com Member Name:
Age:
Gender:
Ethnicity:
Sexual Orientation:
Birthplace:

As a Latino/Hispanic, do you have a "coming out" story specific to your culture? Or do you have any stories describing why you feel you cannot "come out" as an LGBT Latino?

Who is your favorite Latino/Hispanic icon? Why?

Are you aware of any LGBT Latino/Hispanic celebrities or public figures, or can you name any that you know to be gay-friendly or pro-gay?

How did you learn about sex and sexual orientation? Was it from family, friends, religion, etc?

What are your perceptions of what makes a gay man (top/bottom or other roles?) and a lesbian in Latino/Hispanic culture?

Could you provide an experience where you were a victim of gay bashing/abuse from fellow Latinos vs. non-Hispanic people, whether you were "out" or not?

How did you learn about STDs and safe sex? Was it culturally specific through organizations or just through personal experiences?

If you are out to your family, describe how difficult/easy your "coming out" experience was. Was there any particular family member you felt most comfortable telling? Why? Was there someone you felt least comfortable telling? Why?

If you are actively involved in the larger gay community, do you, as a Latino/Hispanic, ever feel either objectified or discriminated against by others because of your race or ethnicity?

Images: Getty Images

Comments

[ashley]

hi i need u

[AyoungAndSmartAndNotPassive]

Very nice , great Idea , hope people respond I will

[Juan Ramirez D>]

hi my name is Juan Ramirez D.
My nickname here is: juan7214, 39 yrs old, gay man, And I come from Mexico.
I knew who I am since I was 6 or 7 yrs old, but I took the decision to keep undercover because I knew that's not what my family expect from me. Sometimes my old relatives told me somethings like: if i going to be gay, that's would be bad for all, but more painfully for me, so when i was 15 or 16 was looking for some psychological support and help because I was involved in a very bad stressed time trying to change my sexual orientation (i don't knew that's impossible), so i have so bad memories about that times, because when i went into those times, i feel the hate from others around me community.

My favorite Latino icon is all the people who have the power to take the decision to show herself in the way they are.

There is a lot of public figures who hate the gay community in latinoamerica, but with all my experience I can asure you that the most ones hate us because they dont't have the power to coming OUT like us................

And about sex learning......Oh my God!! what l can tell you?...... l was 15 when I hear first time about the masturbation, and that was in the high school because no one told me anything like that before, no friends or anyone closer. I hear that from another student who was talking about that with someone, and I ask him on another tine what that mean?
Can you believe?..........................

I learn about sex when i was 18 yrs and sometimes I share time with 2 or 3 friends (gays)
Con respect about perceptions of what makes a gay man, I think is all about the feelings like the white gays man.

And about you question about if I were a victim of gay bashing/abuse from fellow Latinos, mmmh I have a lot of bad histories. But one time, two mans took me out from a bus in Mexico, only because Im gay and no one told anything (the driver either)

I hear about safe sex just through personal experiences because two of my best friends in Mexico died (HIV).

And the process to come out was one of the most terrible process and I still feeling a lot of pain when I remember it.

The most painfull was when I told my mom because another two of my mom's sister forced me to tell the true.
That was so sad.

Im not involved with any gay movement here because some feelings still in my mind about my memories and sometimes I still feeling afraid to participate in any gay movenment.

[danny]

Name: danny
Age: 30
Gender: male
Ethnicity: latino/hispanic
Sexual Orientation: gay
Birthplace: mexico

As a Latino/Hispanic, do you have a "coming out" story specific to your culture? Or do you have any stories describing why you feel you cannot "come out" as an LGBT Latino?
I don't have a specific coming out story that is specific to my culture, however, i can say that when i came out i did first to my latino male straight friends. which may be odd since the persception is that they tend to be very homophobic. and not only that but the first person from my family that i told was my Stepfather, so i guess whats funny is that i came out to straight man members of a community thought to be very homophobic and that i was accepted and understood. My mom was the second person i came out to within my family. so i been openly gay since i was 19.

Who is your favorite Latino/Hispanic icon? Why?
there are many, however, none of them are gay, (or are in the closed, jeje). If i had to single out one icon, it would be Emiliano Zapata leader of the Mexican revolution. Also, "Che", and other's which i don't most will know.

Are you aware of any LGBT Latino/Hispanic celebrities or public figures, or can you name any that you know to be gay-friendly or pro-gay?
Pro-gay: Gloria Trevi,
GAy: that guy from Rebelde

How did you learn about sex and sexual orientation? Was it from family, friends, religion, etc?

WEll, my family is very Progressive, so being gay has never been an issue i am maybe one of those rare cases where i never really had an actual problem wiht my family becuase of my sexual orientation. i think i learned mostly about sexual orientation through reading. I used to read alot about human sexual biology, psychology,.

What are your perceptions of what makes a gay man (top/bottom or other roles?) and a lesbian in Latino/Hispanic culture?

My theory is that the sexual desire to be with a person of your sex is genetic, but that how you deal with that reality depends on your environment. That is, you may be aware that you are gay, attracted to someone of your own sex, but whether you decide to come out depends on the type of community you live in. Generally, the more animosity you feel from your community toward homosexuality, the less likely you will be to come out or be openly gay. to this we must add the fact, that each person has a different character or personality and also this will affect that decision. so in summary, there are many factors to consider how you behave as a gay person and your community will have some effect.

Could you provide an experience where you were a victim of gay bashing/abuse from fellow Latinos vs. non-Hispanic people, whether you were "out" or not?

I have been very lucky becuase i have never been a victim of gay bashing/abuse, maybe because people tell me i don't look gay ( i am openly gay though). i heard the occasional fag, but that's it. I have many straight friends, old and young, and they respect me.

How did you learn about STDs and safe sex? Was it culturally specific through organizations or just through personal experiences?

reading, internet,

If you are out to your family, describe how difficult/easy your "coming out" experience was. Was there any particular family member you felt most comfortable telling? Why? Was there someone you felt least comfortable telling? Why?

I was never really scare about telling my family, my immediate family that is. i never really "told" other members of my extended family, however, i don't hide. If i had a boyfriend i would bring him with me everywhere and so most of my family members woudl realize i was gay. None of them have ever show me any disrespect. Most in my family respect me. they respect me as a person and becuase of my acomplishment, i just finish law school, eventhough when i move to the US i did not know the language and though in my family i am the second one with a degree well now there are more. so i guess that is why they don't care.

If you are actively involved in the larger gay community, do you, as a Latino/Hispanic, ever feel either objectified or discriminated against by others because of your race or ethnicity?

even though i have never personally have felt i am been discriminated bec uase I am gay, i know my case is rare. i know that alot of my other gay latino friends do have issues with their families. I think i been subject of ethnic prejudice or discrimination more than of sexual orientation discrimination.

[Wayan]

facebook : suhendra.wyn@gmail.com

[Unknowen Actor]

I'm a well knowen Actor and have learned that the gay life is the most confusioning and depressing life-style ever. Gay men, from Rich to poor play so many head games. But when you feel that you are gay inside, and who you think you must live the this life-style then the reality of what a hard and bizzare life it really is. The (only one) who has been able to re-leave the sorrow was Jesus Christ. What a difference God makes. I learned from a well knowen singer who left the gay life (his statement) Gays, are always cheating or wish they were cheating. Not a life to live.

[irmacoqueta]

SERIA GRANDIOSO QUE SE PUDIERA TENER ALGUNA PAGINA EN ESPANOL. YO VIVO EN MEXICO, (MONTERREY, N. L.) Y TENDRIA MUCHO QUE COMENTAR Y APORTAR PORQUE YA HE VIVIDO 65 ANOS.

ENTIENDO EL INGLES, LO ESCRIBO ALGO, PERO ES MUY IMPORTANTE QUE SE TOME EN CUENTA A LAS CHICAS GAY EN LATINOAMERICA.

ME ENCANTA SU SITIO....Y LE MANDO SINCEROS ABRAZOS.

[JOSE]

Aw, I love the fact that people read. Yes, Danny and Juan, have both read this article in a most thorough fashion. Instead of sending an email, they have posted it as a comment. I guess they could not wait for planetout.com to post the features, and wanted to be the first articles read. :D

[LS]

LOL @ the last post! I thought the same thing!

[Issac]

Hi My Name is Issac Junior Derregusbi, I am 20 and go to Utah State Univeristy, I am from Dominican Republic, born and raised there and here just for college. It is hard to grow up in the Latin Culture as gay, discrimination become an every day issue blended with ignorance. "Straight" guys get paid to have sex with gay guys and they dont see anything wrong with it, because in most of the cases if you are the top there is nothing wrong, but if you bottom you are the weird one...that just make me WOW

[Birth]

nice to miss you i'm Thai

[Eryn]

I read Daniels story as I did the others..Although,I am not full hispanic I am from a strict Italian backround and believe it or not I have been involved with a latin women for 21 years.Prior to meeting her I had been in gay relationships on and off since I was about 13..Growing up in the 50's...gay was unheard of and the term queer was used frequently so saying anything or comming out if you were smart and didn't want to be ridiculed--better to keep your mouth shut and go into complete repression..Now,for the whammy..I have been living in South America going on 15 years and whats frustrating, it is a macho situation and there are plenty of gay people but hard to find.I told my companion in the beginning I had been involved but I didn't like the scene because of the promiscuity I was dealing with in So.Calif and also because of my professional position I'm sure my ultra conservative clients would have loved to hear that I was gay..My parents have passed on so it wasn't necessary to explain to them and I only have my oldest children to contend with..The biggest mistake I made when I was younger was being afraid of exploration into the gay world as we know it today and going in and out of straight relationships and bouncing back and forth like a ping pong ball..and I would need pages to continue..You will find that latin women are more accepting.When,I told my 2nd wife I was gay she accepted the fact that I preferred haveing a man in my bed and offered to be room mates but changed her mind saying that she was afraid that I would steal her boyfriends so that was out and over.What has bothered me the most is the overall feeling that being feminine and gay is not totally acceptable in our society.Prior to the 80's and in the late 60's when I had my first relationship...H.I.V. didn't exist so it was kinda a free for all at times and no one out of your circle who you were not sexual with,you didn't really discuss your personal life with..in other words..keep things cool and under cover..Oh yes and by the way you didn't hang around with latin males or blacks during those days and if your scratching your heads why,it was another form of race bashing..I'm now in my early 60's and don't need to deal with some of the problems that our younger gay generation has and I know it's very difficult and nerve racking to face your own world but with understanding and knowledge it becomes easiar with time and these days its more comfortable.For me,,I wish I had the time 4o years ago to do exactly what I wish I could do now so my advice would be if you are into being gay/lesbian or a mixed bag of nuts then it's better to be just who you are...and you might be surprised the acceptance you will recieve...have fun and best wishes from Eryn....P.S.Although,prtection was available..we seldom used it as it was more natural...be careful.....

[maria]

Hi! my name is Maria and I am glad to read about latingay people , I want to have mor contact wih all of you, I dont know where. tell me please. I am 50 years old and Iam from Mexico.

[Iqbal]

HI my name iqbal from indonesia being gay still confuse me until know even I involve so much in gay life and activities. I'm still afraid to come out with my family and most of my friends. But i love to make friends with gays..

[ronnie]

well i have dated all mixed bags of men lol but never cam on to the one till i found my hunny boo jose in 2009 this year his family did not aprove of him be a gay hispanic but over time and me talk to his family due caus e he was not know how to tell him mom and dad so he left it up to me caus he treyed to tell them when he first cam out he told me thay went off on him and he thought of him self as not gay any more till he found me i told him when we meat that if he was gonna be somebody he could not live a lie any more so weeks went on and time pased by now nowing his family for a bout 7 to 9 mounths now he tends to bragn me to meet his family i was like dame should i d this or not cause i now how hispanic's arewhen it come down to the gay thag just like my family most are but we meat and chated and chat i was like dame does his mom never shut up it was like i was on a sit-com haha we talk about him we talk about them and then it finely came up about who he was liveing with caus ethat just thought he and i was just friands but any wase wase one thag lead to anouther we finaly talk aobut the big Gay. thag lol where i told hime now its your turn hunny to tell them what you have been hiddin all the years so he do and it cam like someting ive never saw befor his mom stared crying and his day said jose your my son and who is gonna carry on our last name see that was most get mad about and dont understand is who is gonna carry on there last name but as thay talkd more and more he began to understand it then i cam in had to help him out i told him, papi we can still have kids and i would love to give them the last name of the family he said but its not like it will be our own grandkids i said rong papi we are gonna be having one this year he stood there like what are you tell ing me you just said yall was gay now your telling me yall are haveing a baby, i said yes we are one of our friands are doing it for us its gonna be joses spearm and her egg so yea our baby then with such relife he said i knew my son was no dumie after all lol i thought oh to my slef he shur isent at leat not in the bed room, but form all of this iam trying to say is hispanics are very hard to understnad the GAY THAG we have to talk moe about it and tell the truth about cause so many hispanic and just like my family haved heard so many different thags about GAY PEOPLE that it makes it more and more harder ever day for new comers to come out to there family and most dont , so i thank its left up to us to help out the new life of Gay,
to let it shine like it has never shine befor
and then maybe then jsut maybe it would be a better day for all of us all over this world.......... xoxo ronnie an jose