Gay Softball Team Achieves Unthinkable

Call me a proud papa, if you will.  Question my choice of words when I say "unthinkable," if you will.  But a collection of 15 guys in San Diego just capped off an unbelievable season in the local spring softball season, and as co-manager, I think their story is pretty inspirational. 

Changes the names, numbers, and stats in the story below, and it could be any of you out there who ever thought you'd never be athletic, never win on the field, or never overcome your fears of performing (sports, people!). Let this story be proof.  And hopefully, encourage you to join many of the amazing leagues each city offers.  These leagues are a fantastic opportunity to not only achieve personal growth, but make great friends (outside of a bar!) and get exercise.

The Baja Betty's Sin Nombre - look how clever we can be with that name - was formed in the end of January, over a couple drunken conversations, poker games, and a lot of nudging.  My co-manager and I really wanted to coach together (we're friends, and I had only played, not coached), and figured the best thing to do was coach a D level team; D level is the beginners' level in NAGAAA-sanctioned softball leagues.

He had a few friends he knew would play, and I had a collection of guys who I'm friends with, none of whom had ever played before but who I knew could be coached.  And most importantly, we knew we could build a team full of guys who would get along.  Team chemistry plays as much into team success as talent does - if you've ever played in the gay leagues of any sports, drama can tear even the most talented teams apart quickly - and we knew these guys would have no problem getting along.

10 players take the field at a time, but a roster needs about 15 guys in order to cover absences and such.  In late January, we got together as a team to meet and greet, discovering that 10 of our 15 guys had never played organized sports of any kind, let alone played in the softball leagues.  That's fairly unprecedented.

But when you're among friends, and you pound into their heads that yes, they CAN and WILL be successful, anything is possible.  We trusted them to listen to our teaching, and they trusted that we would not embarrass or judge them if and when they failed.

This is a big deal because many of the guys on this team were scared to play.  Scared to play softball? A couple of our guys are over 40 and scared of injury.  About 7 of the guys could be models - they look great in a gym, everyone wants to hit on them in bars, but put a bat in their hand and they shrivel in fear.  Others just had no confidence that they'd ever play well or be successful because they'd never been on any kind of team before.

The first month, we simply met up for batting cage practice.  The gym rat, the debate team nerd, and the muscle jock all had trouble making contact.  At one point, one of them swung and missed at 40 pitches in a row on the 40 MPH machine.

"Don't give up," we said.  The point wasn't to get them to be hitting home runs out of the gate.  It was to help these guys get over the simple unfamiliarity of standing in a batter's box with a flying object coming towards them.  That's how raw many of these guys were.

A month of team practices before the start of the season were necessary.  As coaches, we needed to do three things: learn the psyche of each player and how they'd handle adversity, find out what they were good and bad at, and teach them all what even the simplest baseball terms were.

In fairness, we did have about 5 guys who knew what they were doing (at a beginner level).  Some of the younger guys undoubtedly looked at the over-40 and over-50 guys and thought "man, if HE can do this, so can I."  These same guys, we had to teach how to throw a ball, how not to duck when a fly ball came their way, and which way to run if they ever made contact.

But the learning curve evolved as a short one, because everyone got along so well.  The 22-year old circuit queen buddied up to the 50-something cagey veteran and asked questions.  A lot of the guys are super fast, and we taught them as long as they hit it on the ground, nobody is going to throw them out.  With no egos on this team, we didn't have to deal with guys overvaluing home runs (see: reasons why B teams often fail).  We were building a team where everyone just wanted to contribute in any way.

The season began in late March, and admittedly, we had no idea what to expect.  We had scrimmaged one team and played them evenly, so the guys knew we wouldn't be embarrassed out there on the field.  But we pounded the thought into their head that, as long as we played fundamentally sound ball and limited mistakes, we'd prevail.  We didn't have to be the most talented team.  We'd win by forcing other teams into mistakes that we, ourselves, will not make under any circumstances.

Having covered just about every possible scenario during the 6 weeks of practice, the one thing left for the boys to experience was victory on the field.  That feeling cannot be simulated in practice or scrimmages.  And winning each of our games in Week 1 did just that.  Guys' eyes lit up knowing that they could compete.

And the wins kept coming. Everyone chipped in.  And this wasn't easy given some of the limitations of our rookies.  There was the guy who wanted to quit because he hadn't gotten a hit.  There was the guy who was virtually in tears because he made an error.  Another guy was so emotionally lost because his boyfriend on another team was so much better than him.

But we taught these guys that the scorebook doesn't tell the story.  People contribute to success in far more ways than just having a high batting average.  Moving runners over, showing up to games and cheering the guys on, keeping things loose with humor... those are all things that matter.  You can make an out and still help out, we said.  We gave out a game ball to one player who had never gotten a hit before, but who took a critical walk that extended an inning long enough for us to rally against the #1 competition.

When we suffered our first loss after 8 wins, we as managers knew we had to go into "loss recovery mode."  This meant assuring the guys that losses are not the beginning of the end.  In our league, the pressure was constantly on, because our rival Cherrybomb not only was matching us win for win, but historically was the team to beat in this division.  To get to the World Series, you always have to go through Cherrybomb.  They handed us our first loss.

But the boys ripped off several more wins in a row.  And we beat our rivals two more times.  When we suffered a stunning loss with 6 games to go, our record stood at 14-2 but we only had a one-game lead.

Last weekend we were slated to play Cherrybomb first, with another game to follow.  Win both games, and we'd clinch a berth in the World Series as division champion.  But lose both, and we'd likely miss out because Cherrybomb was too good.  They had not lost to anyone in the division other than us, and we couldn't count on them losing in the final weekend.  So we could afford one loss, but not two.

They were fired up and had a big crowd of fans cheering them on.  They jumped out to a 4-1 lead.  But our resiliency showed.  The guys didn't doubt themselves because they remembered that we had beaten them many times before.  Two big innings later, we were up 13-6 and had put our foot on the throat of the past champion.

Needing just one more win out of the final 3 games, Sin Nombre was not about to wait until the final weekend to clinch.  An 8-run outburst in the top of the first pushes us to a 14-1 victory.

The same team that nobody knew about in February was celebrating in June.  At the clinics, people snickered at our players for their comedy of errors.  But not us, as teammates and coaches.  We knew that as long as the guys bought into what we were teaching, and stood by their teammates through anything, we'd be OK.  At 16-2, we're more than OK.  We're headed to Milwaukee for the World Series.

There is a moral in this semi-narcissistic but mostly proud story.  Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't do something.  And, especially, don't tell yourself that you can't.

As coaches, we were privileged to be entrusted to teach.  But halfway through the season, our jobs because easy because the character of the guys on the team shone through.  Never a fight among us, everyone getting each other's back no matter the result; yes, we only lost two games but we won many close battles where the results were in doubt.  Guys never caved in to fear.

I haven't been around the leagues long enough to know if a team has ever been comprised of so many guys who had never played before, let alone won.  But what these guys did - dedication, trust, supporting each other, never judging - was unbelievable. They could have been coached by two monkeys and still blazed a trail toward a championship.  They are that selfless.

Outside observers will tell you that we have a collection of fast guys, athletic guys, old guys, clumsy guys, and downright awful guys.

We'll tell you we have a collection of champions.

(Photos: Michael Brian Studios)

Comments

[Chip McKenney]

I enjoyed reading this article. I do not play softball...nor really have any interest in the sport. However, I attended gay softball games to watch a former boyfriend play. I was amazed by the strong committment to the "team" experience I saw. In fact, my experience as a gay softball spectator inspired me to establish a team sport that I was interested in.

Two years ago, I founded the first Gay Polo League in the world! Currently, the GPL has over 40 members across the US as well as a couple of members in Europe, Australia and Argentina. There is nothing like playing on a team...an experience few enjoy in their youth. As an adult, I have more appreciation for team sports than ever. Congratulations to all the gay softball leagues. Watching your games changed my life.

Check out www.gaypolo.com

[Rob Patton]

Thanks for this article. My D-Division team in Portland is in its second season. I think we would be the first to tell you that winning is not everything in Gay Softball. But, of course, as we each get better and learn the game, the wins are starting to increase for us.

Please support your local teams when they have fundraisers. It's about playing a game - something lots of us have never done before.

Well...you know what I mean.