What Is Butch?

What makes a lesbian butch?

If you had asked me this question twenty years ago, I would have immediately said a butch is an overtly masculine lesbian who dresses like a stereotypical man and acts like a stereotypical man. Period.

Now I don't know if butches have evolved, or if my opinion has evolved, but I can't define a butch so simply anymore. In fact, I'm confused as to what makes a lesbian butch these days.

I mean, I know lesbians who could easily pass for guys because of the way they look. My friend Jody, for example, has short, spiky hair and a wardrobe made up of loose-fitting t-shirts and baggy jeans. You'd take one look at her and label her a butch, or maybe even mistake her for a guy. But if you got to know her, you'd discover a soft, sweet gal who doesn't play any sports or drink beer out of a bottle. And her voice is so femme! I swear, if Jody worked a phone sex line, the guys she'd be talking to would never, ever know they were on the phone with a woman who looks like a construction worker.

On the other hand, my girlfriend, who shall remain nameless, is the most feminine woman you could meet in terms of appearance and interests—she'd never leave the house without makeup on, and she is never without the latest Marc Jacobs bag. But when it comes to her personality, well, she's hardly a shrinking violet. I love her, but she can be, uh, aggressive and loud even. You should have seen her recently when she got into it with a mechanic who tried—and failed to get away with—treating her like a clueless girl when it comes to cars. "I have a butch personality," my girlfriend says. "I'm a ball buster!"

Jody would have never stood up to the guy like that. Meanwhile, my girlfriend would never be caught dead in Jody's Timberlands.

But which one of them is butch by today's definition? Is butch defined by how you look, how you act or a combination of both? Taking it a step further, do we even need to use terms like butch and femme these days?

(Images courtesy of Getty)

Comments

[beth]

I think the way you define butch would have to go with how you define gender. There has been a wrench in the gender works for a while because people think of them as two exclusive categories and GLBT people are proof that they are not. Do you define a person's gender by how they appear to you? Act? Or by your assesment of what's in their pants. Which of these defining characteristics tops your list, or is a person's gender an amalgamation of all of these things? Butch women generally have a mix some typical male and some typical female characteristics (if they are all typical male then they usually end up in the trans discussion) so unless you place priority on looks or actions alone to define a gender, you'd have to define both your examples as butch.

[oddsox]

hmm anyone know where the other two comments went to?

[oddsox]

Well I'll try to comment again. hehe Basically I agree with Beth, the two box theory is beginning to crumble. I hope some day stores will stop creating a boy's side and girl's side.

I've always seen gender as a label others place on a person. Your sex is one thing, your sexual orientation another then there's gender. We can self-identify as male/female or something in the middle which I believe is now called genderqueer or the full 180 degree from physical sex to gender identity, transgendered. But usually the label "butch" depends on the person applying it, where they live and the culture of that area.

I've always used butch to describe how a person looks, at the moment. "Oh look at that handsome butch." After you get to know that butch things get murky. That handsome butch may have heels in her closet, just be on her way to the gym or about to plant some marigolds.

- from the high maintenance butch
I always check to see if my pants make my butt look big before going out.

sorry if typed in any creative grammar

[~D~]

I've always called myself an "old-fashioned" butch. I was never into men or frilly stuff. Im happiest walking around the power-tool section of Sears...lol
But I do have a softer side, I enjoy home decorating and landscaping. Ya might catch me at the stove (usually sneaking a taste of what my lover is cooking), or even ironing my T's and boxers.
I was once called a "soft" butch. I replied, "well, Im soft in spots" Im still not sure about all these titles - femme and butch always worked for me. Im in my 60's and not about to change any.

[Debbie]

I"ve had to deal with word BUTCH for the first time in my life in my sophmore year. My parents died and my Mothers family became legal guardians. Iwas removed from all that I knew and what I was comfortable with in a middle class town. Imoved to a very exclusive town and sent to a very expensive Catholic school. My up bringing to that also Catholic schools,hell even kindegarten and nursery. Money and the social life is always differant on the other side of the tracks. I did not fit the bill so to speak, I wore no make-up, fixed my hair correctly(hey, hair is everything!) but I walked with a purpose. Iwas the new kid who did't fit in.I liked what I liked and stuck up for myself and others that were picked on but that scared the higher echelon. Butch is a word I hate because they used it as a slurr,hell I wasn't aware of my coming out untill years later. Let me ask a question? How many of the lesbian community will become upset at the word SLUT! People become scared of those who are strong.Everyone doesn't like words that pigeon hole and make something your not becuase of fear! I'm a tomboy girlie with what I'm girlie about yet strong and raisedwith a strong sense of self! If you don't like it then GO AWAY!

[Debbie]

Although I put myself into pigeon hole. Make it simple as POPYE stated " I AMS WHAT I AMS!" Take it or leave it. Life moves on and so do I.

[Lance]

Debbie, I think that's: "I YAMS what I YAMS" AAK AAK AAK

[Jeri Estes]

A real butch is someone who could survive the gay ghetto in the Tenderloin district four years before the Castro, as a female pimp.
www.myspace.com/jeriestes

[Carol]

I think butch is an attitude and a perspective in relation to how we see the world and react to it. I have been with very femme looking women that were very butch and vice versa. It can be a turn on either way. What makes someone sexy is basically the same. You can have an attractive woman sporting a bikini, but it doesn't mean she is sexy. It’s all in the attitude and how we carry it. It’s how we feel and what we project 

[LadyGray]

I tend to use it purely as a physical discription. Or to annoy my girlfriend... (who's realy more of a tomboy but its fun to tease ones lady once in a while.) I also dont use it to describe solely lesbians... My best guy friends girl is about as "butch" as they get.

Personaly the Butch/Femme thing has always got to me becuase it implies a certain power dynamic within a relationship. I mean I'll be honest my girlfriend dresses much more "guyish" then me,and since at this point in my life I work mainly on art, financialy shes the breadwinner. So in a sence we fit the stereotype of a butch/femme couple pretty well... But the fact is were equals not some scary lesbian parody of 1950's america... I'm the one who weilds the power tools... and when it came time to to bring our dog into the family shes the one who picked the ten pound havanese!

[FemmeInterrogator]

If you even need to ask this question, you've never had sex with a butch. Butch is not a fashion, a tattoo constellation, an identity politic, or some kind of theoretical discourse. Butch is someone who packs a big rod and knows how to please a femme with it. I'm sorry to be so base, but those of us in the butch-femme community know what we like. That same strapping butch can be an engineer, a professor, a gardener, or a postal carrier, and s/he may or may not know her way around power tools: really most femmes only care about the non-power tool.

[Jeri Estes]

I was a middle class Valley girl. In 1965, we didn't have gays in America. We were just discovering blacks. I ran away from my Ozzie and Harriet world when I realized I was a lesbian. I survived as a prostitute and then as a hard drag, butch pimp in the red light Tenderloin district of San Francisco. I wrote a novel about my adventures called Stilettos and Steel.
I'm signed by a great agent in New York; Swanna MacNair, of Fletcher and Company. She wants to bring my story to the masses by having my story published by a major publishing house. The TV series and film will follow, backed by United Talent Agency.
Join me and let's bring gay civil rights forward. www.facebook.com/jeriestes1
www.myspace.com/jeriestes
www.jeriestes.com

[Giselle Nagy]

I've read Jeri Estes' manuscript, Stilettos and Steel.
It's a fantastic story! Her novel is not only historically significant but also full of action, humor, hot sex scenes and a beautiful love story.
Jeri's unique characters include a kaleidoscope of humanity who survived in the gay ghetto along with her, including butch enforcers, beautiful femme hookers, drag queens, hippies, bikers, Vietnam soliders, dirty cops and corrupt politicians.
I can't wait for mainstream publication! I believe that Stilettos and Steel will do for LGBT rights what Uncle Tom's Cabin did to end slavery.

[Marie Tuttle]

Stilettos and Steel sounds like an interesting read. I think you are right. This is exactly what the LGBT community needs. A story mainstream Americans can relate to on an emotional level, featuring gay and lesbian characters. I understand the reference you made, regarding Harriet Beecher Stowe’s novel. Although Ms Stowe stereotyped African Americans, she risked her life to write that book. It was the first time people got emotionally involved with blacks in a story and hence they were finally viewed as human beings, instead of merely a commodity or a childlike being who needed to be taken care of, leading to the abolition of slavery.
The pen is much more powerful than the sword. Our community needs our own “Gone with the Wind,” where everyone can see themselves in one of the characters.
PS: I'm sick of straights writing about us, getting published mainstream, playing our parts in television and movies.
Go butch baby, go!

[Tracey]

I prefer to use "butch" as an adjective than a noun. Your friend Jody is butch-looking, while your partner is butch-acting.