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"As a teenager, the one place I felt at home in school was the band room," says Kay Jenkins, president and co-founder of the North Carolina Pride Marching Band. "All the band members were my family. I mean, let's get real. No matter what, we were all geeks. Band geeks. So why not be surrounded by gay band geeks?" This sentiment is shared by many lesbian and gay bandees. For all the horrors high school and college held for many closeted teens, the band room was one place they could find refuge. "In high school, band was definitely a safe place," said Peter Thomas, creator of the Green Mountain Freedom Band, of Burlington, Vermont. "I always felt very fearful in the hallways and classrooms. But in band, I think kids tend to be a bit more respectful. People in band are more concerned about their grades. They're an achieving kind of group, not into bullying." The alto saxophonist recalls his musical talent as a saving grace. "That's how you achieve respect, by performing well. My only friends in high school were in band. It's a real savior for a lot of kids." Thomas, whose lesbian sister plays trumpet in San Francisco, originally convinced him to resume playing. He formed the Burlington band, where he's found much inspiration. "It's one thing to be accepted and safe in a community band," he said, "but it's great to be amongst GLBT people and be totally yourself. Instead of having doubts, you're totally free." "There's just something about being with people you share a common interest with," Thomas said. "Even though they're strangers at first, you can't fail to make friends with them." Cheryl Carmi resumed playing flute specifically because she heard about the Green Mountain Freedom Band. "When I was in school I was first flute and had solos," she recalled. "Picking it back up was a challenge, but it's also a new kind of joy." Since her progressive, alternative school welcomed diversity, homophobia "wasn't an issue" as much as keeping up with her more jazz-influenced experimental associates. Now, in addition to some classical work for concerts -- like the female duet from Delibes' "Lakme" (the unofficial lesbian love theme, featured in "The Hunger") -- Carmi enjoys performing at Pride events, where the band's "killer disco medley" includes "Everyday People," "Love Shack," and the ever-popular "Macho Man." "I love the campy and fun stuff," she said. "Anything that makes people smile." Is the music gay? How important is it that the band, or its music, be gay and lesbian? "I'd be in a band whether it was gay or not," said Kevin Taylor, a saxophonist with the Oak Lawn Band of Dallas, Texas. "There's a relaxed openness in a music group." Except for an occasional rainbow flag decal on an instrument case, "most of our concerts aren't obviously gay," he said. "We'll celebrate gay and lesbian composers, although their concert work isn't the best material for volunteer bands. Copeland, Bernstein, Gilbert & Sullivan, Britten -- not many wrote really easy pieces." When Taylor's band recently dedicated a concert to people who've died of AIDS, "We probably did more Broadway stuff, but other than that we're no different." While marching at different events shows a gay presence, "We're not really a political organization," he said. "But we've performed at inaugurations and at St. Patrick's Day, so our being there makes a political statement." For Linden Gibson, currently of Zebulon, North Carolina, making music became political in her Iowa grade school. After showing an interest in percussion, a band director scolded her. "He gave me a disgusted look and said in a totally condescending voice, 'Girls don't play drums!'" Gibson took up the trumpet, "the outer limits of acceptable feminine instruments," she joked. Frustrated with the combination of playing a horn instrument and new braces, she gave up on music until years later, when she founded the first all-lesbian rock band in Iowa in the 1970s. After moving to North Carolina, she reclaimed her long-lost love of drumming. "I'm pushing 50, fat enough to be a bass drum, and having the time of my life," Gibson said of her time with the NC Pride Marching Band. "Lots of us are realizing our frustrated childhood fantasies, and others who were in bands but were called 'wusses' for playing clarinets or flutes are reveling in the freedom. It's never too late to have a great childhood." Changing lives Are these bands a form of reclaiming a lost musical youth? Is there such a thing as "band culture?" "There are definitely band types," said Oak Lawn's Taylor. "Also within the groups are the same segments of people -- some more social, some more geeky, kind of a whole mix of people." Some bands can be very competitive, says Doug Litwin, a "bisectional" musician who plays "mostly clarinet, but at outdoors events, bass drum" for San Francisco's Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band. Litwin sympathizes with the experience of his band's founder, Jon Sims, who found the music world to be hostile to queers. Sims started one of the first GLBT bands, specifically for 1978's San Francisco Pride march. Several people interviewed said that although band was fun, in some cases it was no more welcoming than other extracurricular activities at schools 10 or 20 years ago. But Litwin doesn't see current gay bands as stress-free environments, either. "In bands that have tryouts and auditions for solos, there can be pecking orders," he said. But that's outweighed by the good things. "Every time you perform you can count on changing somebody's life. They may not even realize it at the time." Russell Ben Williams, president of the Lesbian and Gay Bands of America, has helped change many lives. An accomplished tuba and euphonium player, he also organizes the frequent band migrations to our nation's capital, and the annual LGBA conferences. It wasn't until his late college years at Texas A&M that Williams met gay people "in music circles, the chorus, and drama department, of course." His personal growth is reflected in his work developing other bands. "It was one thing to be in college and know a handful of people," he said. "It's another thing to sit in a band with 120 gay musicians at a presidential inauguration. It was a great moment, so exhilarating," he said, as was receiving the letter from President Clinton inviting them to play. Along with the growth of new GLBT-inclusive bands in small U.S. cities, Canada and Europe is the continual sharing between bands. "We get calls from many people seeking bands to march in their cities," Taylor said. Last summer, Atlanta's band trekked to Memphis to play for their Pride event. But since travel expenses are usually paid by the musicians, fundraising plays a crucial role in this community, where many arts groups compete for limited dollars. Oak Lawn's Taylor pointed out that most cities have a gay chorus because it's easier to organize. For band musicians, he sees a further level of devotion. What else could describe the thankless "band geeks" who haul tuba cases cross-country and march in the summer heat, playing yet another rendition of "YMCA?" "It's just a die-hard group of people who really love playing music."
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