Give Us Your Best Joan Jokes!

"I will be roasting Joan with more gentleness and tenderness than her latest chemical peel and, on the other hand, I will give her a verbal pap smear and god only knows what I’m going to find down there.”

That's Kathy Griffin referring to the just-announced news that serve as official roast master of "The Comedy Central Roast of Joan Rivers."  The event will be taped later this month, and will air on Comedy Central August 9th at 10:00pm ET/PT.

No doubt Kathy will come armed for the occasion with jokes for Joan, but she may need some help from her gays...

If you have a joke for Joan Rivers that would be perfect for the roast, post it on the comments area below -- just for fun.   Here's one to get you started:  "Joan's had so many face lifts, she has to go the gynecologist to get her teeth cleaned."

Roast Joan now!

(Images courtesy of Getty)

Comments

[Гей сайт]

I think one can hardly argue with the joke you have suggested...

[joe mama]

The only lips she has yet to lift are the ones begging to be read on her vagina.

[Bil]

"We found Joan's baby teeth....they're now fossils."

[suck it.]

if only she can lift her ass the way she lifts her face, it would be as symmetrical as the already obvious comparison between the 2 parts..

[Dan]

The only reason Joan voiced "Dot Matrix" - the robot from Spaceballs - was so she could test drive the new parts for herself.

[Jay]

We were all surprised to hear about the passing of Michael Jackson, but we were even more shocked the news didn't follow with the disappearance of Joan Rivers.

[BRUCE MALLORY]

GIVE IT A REST ON THE ALL THE SHIT YOU HAVE DONE TO YOUR FACE JOAN. I MEAN HOW MUCH MORE CAN YOU HAVE AND STILL MAKE THE CAT LADY LOOK PRETTY?

[Steve]

If Joan gets one more face lift she's going to be able to blink her lips!

[mark]

kathy griffin is a puke!

[Stacy]

if she get's any more facelifts, her ankles will replace her earlobes. I'm sure she's been in that position a time or two

[Guanacool]

Joan's new nickname is THE DOLPHIN...
...because her belly button is now in her forehead.

[tanner]

Joan Rivers went in to get a cunt wax and under her beard they found her next face.
---------------------------------------------------------
So sad to hear about Michael Jackson. Good news was just confirmed...he did not die, he had a sex change and is now Joan Rivers.

[Thor]

I once had a laptop named Joan. I named her after Joan Rivers because by the time she finally died, there wasn't an original part left in her.

(true story)

[Travis]

She's had so many face lifts, every time she smiles, her toes wiggle.

[JJC]

A version of Steve's joke: If Joan gets one more facelift, she be able to blink her tits. Hell, she can already fold them.

[JJC]

A version of Steve's joke: If Joan gets one more facelift, she be able to blink her tits. Hell, she can already fold them.

[Sparta75]

Joan Rivers is like an icon... only except instead of black velvet, her image is wrapped in gauze until each public apperarance.

[Bruce]

I think we've found "Chucky's" mom ... she's beautifully chiseled...

[GP]

ONe more faclift and she'll have a moustache

[djword]

Watch out! Joan is going to have a few choice words for YOU no doubt. There will be more fireworks than an rematch of Crystal and Alexis Carrington.

[Captain]

Good old Joan Rivers. She's had more hands in her than the box of tissues on the set of a Bel Ami orgy.

[Logan]

When the world comes to and end and Aliens are searching Earth for remains of anything they will find the the perfectly preserved plastic figure of Joan Rivers...puts a whole new meaning to the name My Size Barbie.

[Ryan]

Joan's had so much plastic surgery it's stamped "Please Recycle-CA cash redemption" behind her ears.

[Ryan]

Joan's had so many facelifts she now has a grafted skin patch of hairy ass on her chin--(of unknown origins) and much like MJ she now claims reverse vitaligo is occuring on her chin. Someone call Rev. Wright, Al Sharpton & Jessie Jackson for an exorcism!

[kevin p]

shes had so much work done she makes cher look natural.

[Trip]

Joan has had so much plastic surgery her surgeon secrelty stamped his logo on her ass during her last procedure..."Made By Mattel"

[Trip]

To this day people still ask..."what ever happened to baby Jane?" Joan Rivers is what happened to baby Jane!

[Pepelepew]

Kathy G. SUCKS

[Trip]

My dear, dear friend bought me the brand new Hoover Delux with all the attachments and add ons, I opened the box and Joan Rivers jumped out

[Cody]

Many people don't know that Joan has given her time and money to aid in progressive science research. Literally every organ in Joan's body came from stem cell research. Many people have wondered why Joan's skin is as smooth as a baby's bottom...that's because it IS a baby's bottom.

[brian tomes]

i think it would be GENUS if you would do a slide show of joan rivers when she was drunk or pilled up in HSN
so a lil slide show of joan thowning drunks everywhere a bad name..... get it?

[Nicky]

Joan's Plastic surgeon always wears black shades and keeps his head tilted to the side for he is afraid to turn into stone.

[jalapeno]

She had too many plastic surgeries that she is now one of the few people that will not biodegrade when they pass away. But the skin can be used for handbags made of high density polyethylene.

[Bill O.]

Joan Rivers' pussy is so dry that when she queefs, dust flies out of her cunt!

[andresito]

Before Brangelina and Speidi, Joan River's first major interview happened to be Adam and Eve.

[Al]

Thats not Joan - its Connie Chung gone blond.

[Nz_T]

After so many facelifts, it's true Joan can now kiss her own ass. It's the first goodnight kiss she's had in years.

[PR]

Joan Rivers, reminds me of a deer in headlights.

[CTC]

The other day Joan got out of her car and wasn't wearing panties, but it wasn't very sexy... So much dust spilled out that they had to call a street sweeper. AND 6 paparazzi became permanently disabled! They're suing her!

[CTC]

I don't want to say Joan is old, but she recently had to get a set of dentures to replace the set of teeth she had in her vagina. Now she douches with Pepsodent.

[Lucky]

KATHY ROCKS! I WANNA BE KATHY'S LESBIAN BODY GUARD!! I COULD TAKE DOWN TOM BY BEATING HIM WITH A SLAB OF JOAN'S WRINKLY SKIN SHE HAD REMOVED! lol

[CTC]

Joan has been working with QVC on a new line of Depends... Instead of teddy bears, jeweled bees appear when they're wet.

[Nz_T]

Joan's last pull back was so tight a dwarf that she sat on at a cocktail party in 1969, fell out of her ass. She named it Bubbles and give it ti Micheal Jackson.

[Benjamin]

She's so old- she queefs non-fat dry milk powder.

[Michael Flowers]

any more face lifts and she'll have a goatee

I LOVE YOU KATHY!!!!!!!!

[Darin]

A gay man could never sit on Joan's face....They would continue to argue about who was tighter.

[g]

a loudmouth bitch roasting a loudmouth bitch

sounds fun where do i sign up

[Maleficent_81]

Joan, ran into Chicken Little recently, and when Chicken Little said "the sky is falling", Joan politely said, "well at least my face isnt"!!!!

[Maleficent_81]

Joan's face is wound up tighter than a Jack in the Box!

[LOLLY]

Joan Rivers is sooo old, she sits on a straw to sip soup!! haha